Thought I'd share some of my favorites from the schooling show on Valentine's Day. Keenan and I didn't do too terribly - 3rd and 4th in hunter over fences classes and 2nd in equitation on the flat. I did, however, totally botch my equitation over fences class...I don't know if I didn't know my course 100% or if I was still so tired that I couldn't stay focused...but at one point I totally forgot where I was going. *sigh* And of course I was beyond angry with myself after that. I don't really know why I get so hard on myself when I "fail." Part of me feels like since I've wanted to do this for so long, I'm somehow entitled to do well. Also, I know how much this sport costs. I wish I was young enough to be blissfully unaware of the money involved, but...I'm not. Sometimes I feel that if I'm not perfect at this, then I'm not fulfilling my part of the "investment." By the way, I know this is all absolutely ridiculous but it's just how I feel.
I have to admit though, after saying all that, the horses and people make everything completely worth it. I care so much about succeeding, yes, but even after a tough day, when Keenan wants to snuggle or I hear Rapper nicker as I walk down the aisle to his stall, I'm at peace. I'll always struggle with "winning" and my own definition of success but at least I've got my boys.
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